Why is this so hard?

It is A Question. Because the journey could take longer than is expected and what originally seemed like a simple process turns out to be complicated and really a challenging process. Than it can be quite difficult to ask the right questions that will guide you down the right path to successful conception with help of assisted reproduction.

Many couples are too afraid, ashamed or overwhelmed to ask the most important questions they should be asking their doctor. But bear in mind – whatever question you are too afraid to ask, they have probably heard before  and you are very much not alone.



It is important to ask questions that are pressing you

Unfortunately, but understandably,  many of the couples are shy to ask the most important fertility questions. The stigma associated with fertility  is still there, even infertility affects more and more couples.

But if you do not ask important fertility questions (for you important!) you might not get the answers you need. Even the doctor tries explain all ahead of you, there still might be something you wish he would answer. So don´t be afraid and ask anything what is on your mind and is pressing you! The most successful fertility patients are usually those who will do their homework, research their options and ask the difficult fertility questions.

And why patients do not ask the right questions? Well, obviously, fertility is not the easiest topic to talk about and specially to someone in a white coat. The most common reasons patients are often too afraid to ask the right questions, are:

Doctors can be a little intimidating

The doctor-patient relationship can sometimes intimidate patients.  Experience from the past might  play significant role if some doctors couple had to deal with did not want to answer questions, or did not have the time to answer questions, or felt like patients should just do as they say with no participation.

But an educated patient is going to have a better chance of success. To work toward success means everyone in a team is working to help a couple conceive. And when doctors invest in their patients, everyone wins. IVF Specialists know that, so ask them whatever you feel like to!

The fear of failure can hold back

A desperation associated with the fear that a couple will never be able to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term is understandable. Of course, not asking question that has been worrying, because couples are too afraid they will not like the answer, makes the journey even more difficult.  Yes, infertility treatment is hugely stressful for patients.

Fertility treatments are stressing out – so make sure you are prioritizing self-care and seeking out ways to distress. Not only does reducing stress help make your journey a bit smoother, but it can help you work up the courage to get the fertility answers you need from your doctor.

Here are the fertility questions couples are often afraid to ask

Worried IVF couple

Who is at risk? Could it be the male partner, too?

This is one of the most important – often never asked – question.  Only about 30% of infertility is caused by a problem in the female partner. About 40% of infertile couples have identifiable factors contributing to infertility in both the male and female partner. About 30% of infertility is caused by a male-only problem.

The idea that women are responsible for all fertility issues is one of the biggest myths out there.  It is important that men know how to maintain healthy sperm, and that loved ones learn how to support men struggling with infertility.

How does tobacco or drug use affect fertility?

Some of the most uncomfortable conversations with doctors regard alcohol, tobacco and drug use. However, nothing is gained by not being forthcoming with your doctor. Certain street drugs such as marijuana have been shown to have a negative effect on sperm quality. Tobacco is detrimental to sperm health as well.

Then there is the risk from performance-enhancing drugs. You might love how they make your biceps and deltoids look, but the risks are not worth the benefits. Men who use anabolic steroids as part of workout regimen have a high rate of infertility caused by suppression of testosterone production in the testis by supplemental testosterone.

Is my doctor really invested in my fertility journey?

Many of couples want to be sure, especially after several treatment cycles, that their doctor is learning about their fertility after each cycle, reviews their case carefully and plan next treatment based on the progress so far. Couples might feel as though they do not get enough time to build a solid rapport with their practitioners, and this can add to their anxieties when trying to ask their most pressing fertility questions.

Best private clinics are aware of that and build their strong features mainly on individual approach and time invested into each couple. This allows couples to speak up and ask their questions, because answers to these questions often provide even the tiniest sense of control in a situation where a patient already feels out of control.

And the treatment can only benefit from that.


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